Each time I read about step-families and divorced couples with children, my heart bleeds for the children. Having "been there, done that" I have flashbacks of my experiences in fighting for custody of my step-children.
I can't help but wonder and worry about what children are going through today versus many years ago when we fought our battle. Have times changed much? I read about co-parenting and shared custody now. I know for a fact that would NOT have worked with us. It takes two people to make a relationship work, whether it's ex-spouses or current spouses. If both parents do not have the best interests of the children at heart, it won't work and the children suffer. You may not actually see how deeply the child is suffering until many years down the road.
My husband's ex used their children as pawns. The only reason she wanted them around was for the child support. When she was ready to party, they came to our house, which of course we didn't mind, but the toll it took on the children is what was the most painful.
My husband's ex also deeply resented our marriage. We have been married now nearly 30 years. She on the other hand, has been married four times...so far. I assume she will find another husband before too much longer. I feel for the children, which are now adults, that have had three step-fathers, not to mention the various number of "boyfriends" that have been in and out of their lives. I don't understand why someone would put their own happiness over that of their children. But then there are alot of things I just don't understand. Maybe I'm just getting old...
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